Finding Purpose as a Widow: Your Life Hasn't Ended | Hope Speaker

Have you ever felt like your life ended the day your husband died? Not physically—but in every other way. Maybe you've thought, "I died when he died."

Maybe you've wondered what you're even living for anymore. Maybe you've found yourself simply waiting for "your turn" to go to heaven because he's already there. Perhaps you've wished you could leave here, now...

If you've struggled with those thoughts, I want you to know you're not alone. I also want you to know that while part of you and your old life is gone, there is more for you than this.

One of the hardest parts of widowhood is that we don't just lose our husband—we can begin to lose our sense of purpose, hope, and our desire to find deeper meaning. We can settle into believing that the rest of our life will simply be something to endure.

While those deep feelings are completely understandable after losing our closest person:

• That perspective can become crippling

• Those beliefs can keep us stuck in the same dark version of life we actually hate

• They can convince us that there is nothing meaningful ahead

• They keep us from finding purpose as a widow when God still has more for us

The Good News: It Doesn't Have to Stay This Way

Sister, the truth is this: While you are still living, your good story isn't over yet.

The Lord has so much more ahead of you than suffering. Suffering is part of the journey, but it was never meant to be the ending.

One of my favorite examples of the call to life beyond death is found in John 11, the story of Lazarus. It's not just about Lazarus being raised; it's about Jesus' call to us. We see how Jesus navigated grief after death (for Himself and for the others who were mourning).

Here are three beautiful reminders from that story for us as widows.

1) Jesus Receives Our Honesty with Grace

After Lazarus died, both of his sisters—Martha and Mary— said the same grief-stricken words to Jesus:

"Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died." -John 11:21, 32

Neither woman hid her broken heart.

Neither woman pretended to understand.

Neither woman felt she had to clean herself up before coming to Jesus.

As widows, we can come to Him with that same honesty.

We can ask our questions and tell Him about our pain.

We can bring Him our disappointment, confusion, and heartbreak because He receives us with grace and love—not shame.

2) Jesus Grieves With Us

"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled... Jesus wept." -John 11:33, 35

Jesus:

• Saw their tears

• Heard their grief

• Cared about their broken hearts

• Grieved with them

If you've ever wondered whether God really sees your pain as a widow, this passage reminds us that He does. He is not distant from your suffering. He enters into it and weeps with you.

3) Jesus Brings Freedom from Death

I know every widow wishes her story could end the way Lazarus' story did—with her husband walking out of the tomb alive again.

While God didn't choose to raise our husbands back to earthly life, I still believe He wants to raise you from the tomb you may have been living in.

After Lazarus came out of the tomb, Jesus said,

"Take off the grave clothes and let him go." -John 11:44

Can I ask you:

• What grave clothes are you still wearing?

• What is still carrying the stench of death in your life?

• What tomb do you need to come out of in your widowhood?

Sister, it wasn't your time to pass, and it isn't now. It's time for you to live. Really LIVE.

Renew Your Mind with Truth

Romans 12:2 reminds us that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

One of the ways you can begin finding purpose after losing your husband is by intentionally shifting your thoughts about what his death means for you... and aligning those thoughts with God's truth.

So I have three powerful promises to give you briefly (but encourage you to meditate on)!

1) In Christ, Death Leads to Resurrection

"But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you." -Romans 8:11

Death is not the end of God's story. Resurrection is.

That same resurrection power lives in every believer. While your grief is real, it is not the final word over your life.

2) In Christ, Suffering Leads to Hope

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." -Romans 5:3–4

We often believe suffering steals joy and takes our hopes away. It's an incredible gospel paradox that God says suffering actually produces a deeper, gritty and eternal hope in what we cannot lose.

3) We Have Victory Over Death

"When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: 'Death has been swallowed up in victory.'

...thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my dear...sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." ​-1 Corinthians 15: 54, 57-58

Our labor is walking through this season of widowhood by faith. It is not in vain! You have the victory, even over death.

Grieving With HOPE

"...Sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope." -1 Thessalonians 4:13

As believers, we have access to a resurrection HOPE; a different way of living through widowhood than the world. But it is sometimes hard to get a hold of in deep grief.

In my early suicide widowhood, I grieved without hope, and with unbearable pain instead... Leading to two attempts of my own to leave this world.

My epiphany moment came as the Lord gave me a new way of grieving with HOPE, healing, and rebuilding a life I love again.

Walking that journey over years led to the Lord's calling to come alongside other Christian widows and show them the way. It's why I offer 1:1 coaching and have built a virtual Christian widow community. Here is a warm invitation for you to join me (you can click either of those links).

Happy to have you on this road of HOPE, sister.

With you,

Rachel

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