Christian Truths for Widows: Comfort and Promises | Hope Speaker
- Rachel Powell
- 1 day ago
- 6 min read
Losing my 30-year-old husband by suicide was unlike any other suffering or tragedy I had ever experienced. In fact, it was unimaginable, and remains unexplainable. Widows know that the only ones who could possibly "get it" are the ones who have lived it, too.
It isn't a life setback or even a "thorn in the flesh." It is death... Death of your closest person.
As we grapple with the finality of death in our life, one of the greatest dangers of widowhood is that we begin to receive death as a sentence over the rest of our life.
Today I want to ask you to set aside resistance, and receive the blessing of truths that will change you, your widowhood, and your future as you believe and walk in them.
Danger in the Trenches of Grief
Before I get into the hope I know you need, I must begin at a place that is safe for you to be seen, felt and loved as you are. I know losing your husband was horrible and life-altering.
No one can be pushed or pulled out of grief, and all the losses that ripple into every area of your life need validation. Being known in the messy and painful, yet still accepted is a foundation to companioning someone empathetically, and well, in grief.
Finally, I want to reiterate that as much as I am able to as your widow sister, I can understand overwhelming pain, hopelessness and despair. I attempted suicide twice after my husband passed. Please know that healthy grief begins with safety and grace- and you have found it here.
AND, while all of these things are true, here is what is also true. There are many grief spaces that promote only ideas such as "grieve your way," and "no one can tell you [anything, basically] about your loss." The problem is that people in dark grief can have their pain and lie-based beliefs validated (to their own detriment) at the cost of their growth and joy.
Another idea, that there are "no timelines," can sometimes turn into being stuck in deep grief and pain forever.
Grief without hope, and without forward movement, is not "[walking] through the valley of the shadow of death" with our Shepherd (Psalm 23:4). It is setting up camp to live there the rest of your days until you, too, pass away.
The trenches of grief can be dangerous for us- body, mind and soul. There is a war going on. Consider:
The Devil is the Father of lies (John 8:44)... including grief lies
Our flesh in widowhood holds onto deeply held, repeated thoughts (beliefs) that we accept instead of "[taking] captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5)
The grief world will often affirm you to death, whatever your "truth" is, including destructive conclusions like "I died when he died," "This will never heal," "My good life is over," etc.
The dark, hopeless and excruciating places of grief may be part of our human experience, but they are not your doomed reality for the rest of your life. They don't need to be.
Widows need the light, love, and truth of Christ to shine in and illuminate the depths of widowhood. We can be honest, real, and known and move forward into our future with the Lord.
Two Truths & Promises That Change Everything
Ok sister, here is a little of what helped change me from a hopeless suicide widow to a Kingdom Bride who is expectant and abundant in the Lord.
You must know that as we move from all the "impossibilities" we feel and believe into all the possibilities Jesus has for us, we often meet internal resistance, defensiveness, and fear of disappointment. It is normal as our brains try to "protect" us from change, and also as we battle against the world, our flesh and the enemy.
Thankfully, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).
1) God has Goodness in Widowhood & Beyond, for You
Yes, you!
"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." -Psalm 27:13-14
Can you believe the audacity of David's confidence as he wrote this? Despite fleeing for his life and seeing none of what was promised come to fruition yet, he declared, believed, and trusted in goodness coming to him.
What would it mean, feel like, and look like for you to be this certain of the same? That in the days you have left to live, you were going to see God's goodness coming to you, too?
2) This is Not Your End- It is Just the Beginning
Sister, I know it can feel like you are so low in grief that you might be burning alive at times, and this is what the Lord says:
"When you pass through the waters... they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God..." -Isaiah 43:2-3
When I believed so much that my life was over I acted to end it, the Lord gave me this battle cry:
"I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done." -Psalm 118:17
Widowhood is not your end: you have not died, and you will not die. You will live, and live with purpose, proclaiming all that you will see Him do for you, to others! Remember the Father of grief lies? We overcome him in Christ fully!
"They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." -Revelation 12:11
So keep living, lean into God's redemption that will be your story, and speak it to others.
Living it Out as a Kingdom Widow
How do we actually walk by faith in these ways, especially when we are really struggling in widowhood? Here are a couple ideas.
1) Change Your Mind- Receive a New One
Did you know that the Greek word translated “repentance” is metanoia, and the meaning is simply “a change of mind”? While we often think of repentance as an action of turning from sin, it is, at its root, first changing our mind about our way and beliefs... to agree with what God has said and go His way.
Sister, are you willing to repent where your widowhood beliefs don't line up with what God says is true? To change your mind about what is keeping you stuck and disconnected from faith, trust, and Kingdom living as a widow and beyond?
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." -Romans 12:2
Remember again, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).
2) Deepen Your Relationship With the Holy Spirit
That 2 Timothy verse just above leads right into where a sound mind comes from- the Holy Spirit in us.
The Holy Spirit is our helper, comforter, advocate... God indwelling us! Why do we often know so little about Him, when He is such a vital part of our journey?
The Spirit is the One who empowers and enables us to walk by faith and in power. He gives us spiritual eyes and wisdom. You can begin to call the old beliefs, lies and bondage "unfamiliar," as you grow deeper into what He speaks to you and leads you in as a Kingdom widow.
"[God’s wisdom is] revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God... no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.
What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words" -1 Corinthians 2:7, 10-13
Keep your heart soft and open toward the Spirit, beautiful sister. He is leading you toward God's best for you!
The Kingdom Widow Walk of Faith
There is so much more I would love to say, but a Blog is limited. There are truths and practical steps that I go much deeper into through my one-to-one support, and in my virtual Christian widow community (feel free to click the links below to learn more).
I do want to leave you with this: the Kingdom Widow walk of faith isn't done alone, but in relationships. I believe widows can be connected, discipled and blessed uniquely through other faith-filled widows.
Consider moving beyond the encouragement or inspiration given here and into action, and join this journey of living it out together:
1:1 Coaching Support (access to The HOPE Stronghold is included!)
With you,
Rachel
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