How to Heal (Part 2/3): Support & Hope for Widows in the Grief Journey

How do you navigate the grief journey as a widow? We are in a 3 part series looking at steps in a healthy process (and common pitfalls).

Last week, we talked about where the journey after loss begins: acceptance and authentic grief. That was step 1 (check it out here if you have not already, because we're building on it today).

This week, we move forward to step 2 - healing!

Because after our wound is openly and honestly acknowledged, it needs some deep care to mend. ❤️‍🩹

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As I navigated the beginning of my grief journey, I was able to identify and end unhealthy numbing/coping strategies... but I also discovered I was stuck in deep grief pain.

The pain didn’t lessen with time like the world said it would. I was "functioning"—taking care of the kids, paying the bills, smiling when I needed to. But inside? I was bleeding out.

I didn't realize that functioning + the passing of time would NOT = healing! Deep healing is much more intentional than that, and it's worth the effort and resources necessary.

"Healing" is a common term and common desire in widowhood, but few of us seem to find some tangible hand holds to grasp as we navigate the journey.

Why is it that so many will experience a significant loss or tragedy, but so few will then become resilient, abundant and hope-filled warriors? Yet I have not only experienced this transformation personally, but work with many women who do, too!

I know that it's an available possibility for everyone.

Maybe you find yourself in a place of doing what needs to be done, holding it together—but feeling like you're still broken inside. You don't need to stay stuck!

Healing is what most grievers want, deep down. But what does that actually mean?

We Want to Heal, But We Don’t Know How

Many Christian widows find themselves stuck in survival mode or perpetually "hanging in there" without purpose and hope.

We’re told that time heals, or that we just need to be strong, or trust God... But our attempts to find some resolution or progress are often unfruitful. We can become disillusioned, bitter, and even more lost.

And that? That is not the place God desires for you to accept as "normal," and to stay in.

If you feel like you’re scraping by, or just existing... There is a way forward. It won’t erase your grief—but it will begin to bring deep healing.

Healing Comes When We Tend to the Wound

The importance of last week's step 1 was to inspect our broken heart in a real and honest way, and this week, we get to look at a plan for treating and mending it.

Because trying to function (carrying all that we often have to solo) while bearing trauma, grief, and spiritual heartbreak can deepen that pain.

Pain is like the dashboard light on your car. It's not the problem or an enemy; it's an indicator of where you need time, effort and attention to recover.

True healing means intentionally:

1) Addressing the places we're wounded, and

2) Not trying to do it alone

Addressing our wounds involves examining our honest feelings and thoughts, as well as taking ownership of how we are participating in the creation of our current life experience (and how we can change it! More on this next week). It also involves bringing all these things to safe places where they can be tended to, understood, and healed.

We also were never meant to carry this weight in isolation. God designed us for connection—with Him, ourselves, and with others. Deep healing can come when we allow support in: from those who truly understand grief, from safe people who will sit with us in our pain, and most importantly, from the God who draws near to the brokenhearted.

Healing is possible, but healing isn’t passive. It’s something we walk out, together.

How do we move forward in healing—step two on the journey of grief? If you're ready to press in, here are some real, tangible ways to begin.

Your Next Step Toward Healing

Here’s what that can look like in real, messy, everyday widowhood:

• Healthy processing tools like journaling, EMDR, or somatic work to help metabolize your pain in healing ways.

  
  

• Grief support groups, memberships and other forms of community with others who truly “get it,” so you don’t feel so alone.

• Therapy or trauma-informed counseling to address emotional wounds and gently work through the hard layers of pain. Therapy is a great tool to help take you from non-functional/crisis to functioning.

• Personalized Coaching that helps you identify where you’re stuck and equips you with tools to take confident steps forward.... often from struggling (but functioning) to thriving!

  
  

  [Shameless Offer- Coming alongside my widow sisters to help them rebuild a life they love again, and change the daily experience of their lives to one of HOPE and power is my jam! If you need support in your journey, reach out to me for a Coaching consult here: Connect@hopespeaker.com ]

  
  

• Rebuilding spiritual connection with God—not just in quiet time routines, but through honest, two-way conversations that open your heart to comfort. (I highly recommend the book Joyful Journey: Listening to Immanuel for some practices on hearing from the Lord).

• Involving our physical bodies and mental health in our healing with healthy food/fuel, exercise/movement, routine check ups and care, getting enough sleep, etc. Failing to take care of the only place you have to live (your body) can hinder your grief journey more than you may realize.

• Learning to receive—from people, from God, and even from your own self-compassion.

Including these things into your life is possible, and it is worth the work to transform both yourself and your future!

You don’t have to figure this all out today. Just take a couple brave steps toward healing. That makes the next ones a little easier!

The Pain Is Real—But So Is the Healing

I remember when I finally decided surviving, living an unhappy life wasn't what I wanted to accept for my future.

It wasn’t a moment of weakness. It was the beginning of deeper healing. The pain didn’t vanish, but I finally had next steps into a doable path forward.

And so can you.

You’re not failing. You’re not broken beyond repair. You’re simply wounded. And wounds can and do heal—when tended rightly, with care.

Healing is not forgetting. Healing is honoring what was lost while fighting for what still can be.

You’re not alone, sweet sister. Healing your heart will change the rest of your life. Let’s walk it together.

With you,

Rachel

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