The Wilderness Season of Widowhood Isn’t Just Survival — It’s Sacred

Widowhood feels like being sentenced to a life void of goodness... But what you believe about it is everything.

There were days I looked around my life—his empty seat at the table, the mounting bills, four kids without a father, the silence in the night—and thought, “This is it now. This is my life.”

Pain had become the new normal. Grief filled every corner. And I didn’t dare dream of joy or purpose again—because honestly, I didn’t think those things belonged to me anymore. I mean, I was a widow now.

Maybe you’re there too.

You're surviving, going through the motions. And part of you is wondering if this season will ever feel like anything more than survival.

Or perhaps you've gained some traction and are in "life maintenance mode."

Here’s the truth that changed so much for me:

Widowhood may be a wilderness—but it’s not a wasteland.

It’s holy ground for the Lord to do a mighty work in and through you.

Reframing Widowhood: A Sacred Wilderness, Not Wreckage

Widowhood feels like being lost, with no map and no companion. But throughout Scripture, God has always used wilderness seasons to form, reveal. and even bless.

🔸 Joseph — Betrayed, enslaved.

He spent many years suffering and in prison, with no rescue in sight. Yet he was never forgotten by God, who remained with Him and used that time to prepare him for a position of influence that would save nations.

“But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love...” – Genesis 39:21

Do you feel forgotten by God or like losing your husband was a mistake on God's end? Might you be open to His faithful care and plan for you in this, as He had for Joseph?

🔸 David — Anointed, waited... then ran for his life.

Do you know what happened after the Prophet Samuel anointed David (as a boy) in front of his family as the future king?! He got sent back out to tend sheep... for many years. Talk about anti-climatic.

And still before David ever wore a crown, he hid in caves, running from enemies, questioning his future.

Yet those were the years God used to shape and refine his heart for leadership.

🔸 Jesus — Led into the wilderness before public ministry.

Even Jesus (God in human flesh!), spent 40 days in a barren place—fasting, wrestling, preparing for ministry... and it was according to God's plan. Not because the plan got thwarted.

My widow sister, you’re in good company in this wilderness!

And here’s the HOPE you must hold to:

This season is not a punishment. It’s preparation.

It’s not a dead end. It’s a divine setup.

And your widowhood is not a detour—it’s a holy assignment.

Your Power Lies in What You Do With It

Don't misunderstand this as invalidation or gaslighting. I’m not saying what happened was good or that the pain disappears. I’m not pretending brokenness is good or that death isn't an enemy.

But I am saying this:

The Lord knew this tragedy was coming, has planned to walk with you through it, and can use it for His glory and your good.

You don’t have to wait for joy, purpose, or clarity to “someday” find you.

You can start walking in your wilderness with power today.

Let’s talk about how.

3 Steps to Walk Your Wilderness With Purpose

1. Shift the question from “Why me?” to “How/What now, Lord?”

It’s normal to ask why. But staying there gets sticky.

Begin asking God:

• “How can I get closer and deeper with you here?”

• “How do You want me to show up today?”

• “What goodness do you have for me going forward, in the land of the living?”

• “What do you want to give me, show me, or tell me right now?”

Widowhood didn’t surprise Him. We didn't and don't want it, yes. But it’s not outside His plan, and it can't prevent the good things He has ahead for you.

2. Anchor your identity in His truth—every day.

When grief is loud, the Spirit can still speak louder.

Ask Him for specific declarations, promises and truths to hold onto. Put it in front of you daily. Post it on your mirror. Say it out loud. Again and again.

I needed these reminders in front of me on every one of my darkest days.

(PS- this is a reason one of my girls and I created our family HOPE Shop of hand-designed, tangible reminders of truth... to get other people through theirs! May they bless you or someone you love.❤️)

3. Take one faithful step forward.

You don’t need a 5-year plan, friend. You need a next step.

That could look like:

• Starting a new routine that brings a sense of peace and intention into your day

• Intentionally connecting instead of isolating (coffee with a loved one, joining a support group, meeting a new friend, etc.)

• Taking care of your physical and mental health (schedule the checkup, exercise, do something active you love)

• Dare to dream again (try writing what you feel called to ahead- any visions, hopes or desires to pursue)

Remember, just like Joseph, David, Jesus and others... This wilderness season is only part of your story! God is still writing it.

You’re Not Just Surviving. You’re Being Transformed.

This wilderness you’re walking through? It’s not proof that God has left you.

It’s proof that He is transforming and preparing you.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

Your story isn't sidelined—it's sacred.

Your hope isn't on hold—it’s available right now.

And you? You’re not powerless. You’re walking with the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead. That means this wilderness will not be the end of your story... And you can partner with Him to step into the good things he has planned for you—right here and ahead!

Ready to Reclaim More Than Just Functioning?

If this message stirred something in you—if you're ready to walk forward, not in fear, but in faith—I want to invite you to take your next steps with me.

➡️ Visit www.hopespeaker.com/coaching

There, you can learn more about getting Holy Spirit-led guidance through widowhood—with clarity and support from someone who's been there—so you don’t have to walk this season alone.

You were never meant to.

With you in the wilderness,

Rachel

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