Walking Widowhood by Faith: Guidance for Christian Widows | Hope Speaker

Walking Widowhood by Faith: Finding Hope in the Middle of Suffering

Becoming a widow is often the worst day of our lives.

Even if we've lived through other painful seasons before, widowhood reaches into every part of us and our world. We don't just lose our husband... We lose the future we imagined, the rhythms of everyday life, the partnership we depended on, and many times our sense of identity and security.

As Christians, we may already know what the Bible says about suffering. We may have pondered the answers in light of theoretical tragedy, or that of others on the planet.

But when unbearable pain becomes our own, questions that once felt theological suddenly become deeply personal.

How could a good God allow this?

Why didn't He stop it?

Why my husband?

Why my family?

I want to be clear with you, sister... I have no interest in minimizing the pain of widowhood or pretending that quoting a Bible verse suddenly makes everything okay. I have experienced spiritual abuse and manipulation myself (as well as untimely religious platitudes in grief).

And as a suicide widow, who became hopeless enough to attempt to leave this world myself, I know deep pain. Yet it was in that deepest place of brokenness that God began teaching me truths that completely changed not only my widowhood, but the rest of my life. Truths that have changed me.

There is a hope that goes deeper than both happiness and loss. There is a joy rooted in eternity that cannot be taken away by death.

And while it may not be what our hurting hearts naturally want, it is the truth that gives us strength to endure and even transform through what we never would have chosen.

That is where I want to go with you today. Let's go deep! ❤️‍🔥

Holy Spirit Hot Take: Widowhood Is More Than Something to Survive

There are many wonderful resources that teach practical ways to "get through" widowhood (I offer them, too). And to be clear, we need those things.

But in the midst of getting through widowhood, we don't want to miss the greater purpose of this season (of every season, actually): growing closer to Jesus.

Widowhood, like every season of life, is ultimately an invitation to walk more closely with God. We can learn to widow by faith. I would even argue that it is the only way to:

• Find peace when many questions remain unanswered.

• See suffering through the lens of eternity instead of only today's pain.

• Experience God's strength where we feel weakest.

• Discover deeper purposes for which we were created.

Widowhood, and all suffering and trials, can be a gateway into God's deeper purpose for your life. That is truly comforting; there is more here than just pain.

Here are a couple Biblical truths and promises that can help us anchor our souls in rock solid hope.💗

1) Suffering Is Expected

Ok, I know this one doesn't feel hopeful, but this was a foundational truth that steadied me when it all felt unbelievable, and when I was tempted to believe that God missed something or didn't love me (or Andre).

As painful and difficult as loss is, the Lord told us to expect it in this world of the fall, brokenness, sin and hardship. This helps us with acceptance, which is a critical first step both in grief and the walk of faith.

Jesus said in John 16:33:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

He stated the reality of suffering, but He also promised His peace and victory. Be encouraged and do not despair, because He is doing the heavy lifting of the weight of sin and suffering.

Peter echoes this same reality and gives encouragement:

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed… So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." -1 Peter 4:12-13, 19

Widowhood is now our walk of faith. Our opportunity to trust God even here.

Good News: Suffering Produces HOPE

Even Paul chimes in on this "upside-down" Kingdom way of thinking:

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." -Romans 5:3-5

Naturally, we think hope comes after suffering ends (I prefer this!). Especially in widowhood... we just want out.

But what if God wants to give us an enduring hope that transforms us in and outlasts all circumstantial suffering?

2) Widows Are Blessed!

Ready to have your hopelessness turned upside-down some more? This next radical truth also challenges the way we naturally think about suffering and widowhood.

According to the world, blessing means comfort, ease, success, and the absence of pain... Those things sure sound nice to me.

But Jesus said,

"Blessed are those who mourn: for they shall be comforted." -Matthew 5:4

Think about the value of God's comfort in our deepest grief, and the perspective it changes in us.

Another way widows are blessed is how powerfully He shows up and gives His strength right at our weakest points and places (and we widows know a lot about weakness!).

Paul pleaded with God to remove the thorn in his flesh—whatever suffering that represented in his life. Instead of removing it, God answered him in a different way:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Where are you weakest sister? In your most painful and broken places of widowhood? That is where God shows up to give you strength, and that is where you are tapping into the power of the Almighty!

His power meets us right where our own strength ends. That is one of the great paradoxes of the Christian life.

Finally, we are also blessed with something widowhood makes us appreciate in a completely new way—His presence.

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit." -Psalm 34:18

"I will not leave you or forsake you." -Joshua 1:5

"Behold, I am with you always." -Matthew 28:20

As we walk this broken earthly road to our eternal heavenly one, He goes with us every step. When our closest earthly companion is gone, the Lord reminds us that His presence has never left.

3) Walking in Faith & Giving God Glory is the Goal of This Life🔥

This perspective changed everything in the way I viewed not only widowhood, but life itself. Walking by faith and bringing God glory is ultimately why we are here.

That doesn't mean God wants our suffering.

It doesn't mean He caused every painful event.

But it does mean our greatest purpose has never depended on our circumstances.

If my goal in life is simply to be comfortable, then widowhood will always feel like the complete destruction of that purpose and of my hope.

But if my purpose is to know Christ, trust Him, glorify Him, and become more like Him, then even this painful season can become part of that journey.

The Lord wants our faith!❤️‍🔥 How incredibly fitting for us that the parable Jesus comes up with to teach this is the parable in Luke 18 of the persistent widow! 😉

Follow me, here...

This parable is like an Oreo: we often focus on the filling⚪ (the lesson in the middle about persisting to get justice) but the cookie, the beginning⚫ and end⚫ put it all together and drive the point home about our faith and how that is what the Lord desires most.

⚫ 1 "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up."

He describes faith in action: prayer with persistence. Seeking Him with trust and belief in His goodness.

⚪ (verses 2-6) The parable describes a widow who continually advocates for her justice. Persistence is shown to be effective even with non-believers (the judge who didn't fear God). Jesus then says how much more effective persistence in prayer is with a loving God whose heart is for us.

⚪ 7 "And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly.

⚫ 9 However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

This word "however" is significant! Because after talking about the granting of the persistent widow's request, "however" seems to insinuate "Even if not" or "Regardless of if justice is granted as desired."

Wow.

Even if the prayer hasn't been answered as asked. Even in the hardship of widowhood.

Will He return and find faith in us? That is what He desires most.

Widowhood Is a Journey of Faith - Together

"So… whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31

Widowhood is an opportunity to glorify God through our faith. Just like every season in life. *Spoiler alert: remarriage and blending—or whatever season follows the one you're in now—is a faith journey, too!*

"We walk by faith, not by sight." -2 Corinthians 5:7

One day our faith will be sight, and it will be easier. Right now, when He returns, will He find us persisting in faith?

If you want to stay more closely connected in walking widowhood together by faith and in having support, I offer both a virtual Christian widow community where we live it out together as well as 1:1 coaching (which includes access to the community!).

Let's keep going deeper into Jesus, together as widows.

With you,

Rachel

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