Flipping the Tables: Why Jesus Calls us to Confront Spiritual Abuse and Oppression in the Church

Well, last week's blog caused quite the ruckus (and more private than public). Upon receiving both questions and accusations regarding attacking the church, usurping the role of men, and being a contentious person over "trivial matters," I have been spending time in prayer. I felt moved to write a series in the blog in the coming weeks.

(Keep in mind, blog ≠ book, but I will do my best with the limitations).

Amidst the noise, I also had more people with similar experiences of wounding in the church reach out to me than ever before... many who are now estranged from the church entirely, or from a personal relationship with God Himself.

May we recognize that being a lamp on a stand to those who do not believe, and loving those within the body of Christ are not only equally important, but are actually the same thing.

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

-John 13:35

Let's dive in.

What Addressing Spiritual Oppression Is Not

• Unnecessary, or "trivial"

• Gossip, slander, bitterness, unforgiveness

• An issue of "convictions"

• A cause of disunity

As we will see later, these issues are incredibly important to God, and He addresses them quite seriously Himself, from His love for His people.

Speaking up about spiritual abuse and harm does not automatically mean a person has a "wrong heart." A person may have forgiven, taken much effort and time to heal, and not give specific names to churches or people. Their posture will give a glimpse into their heart, but there is no way to "know" where a person is before God in the matter. What is more - it still wouldn't disqualify them from sharing abuse.

Also, while the Bible does say to "avoid foolish controversies [and] a person who stirs up division" (Titus 3:9-10), someone naming religious trauma and abuse is a far cry from qualifying as such. Regarding scriptures which promote unity over quarrels about convictions (see Romans 14 and others), the issues of spiritual abuse/manipulation are not conviction issues. Instead, there is a moral obligation to uphold truth and the safety of people.

Finally, saying a person is divisive, is trying to "make sides," or is causing disunity for speaking about the harm in their story is weaponizing peacemaking, and is in itself, manipulative. Responding in an honest way to that which causes disunity (abuse) is a way forward to change and greater unity.

So, What Are We Talking About Here?

• Spiritual Abuse/Manipulation: a profound violation of trust that uses religious beliefs, scriptures, or spiritual authority to control, manipulate, or harm another person- leveraging their desire to honor God or their very relationship with Him

• Failing to address sin/wounding/failures by leadership... which creates a tainted "power" group/structure

• Indoctrinating people (or specific groups- such as women) to be subservient, or relinquish their God-given autonomy, voice, giftings or calling... creating a prime environment for abuse

Why Is This a Big Freaking Deal?

If we do not hold to some basic fundamentals, both our relationship with God, as well as the foundation of the church, are compromised.

1) We are all (meaning every person without exception or category) created in the image of God, equally loved, and gifted with self-governance, responsibility and choice

It is not in God's directive for these to be taken from His people, which is dehumanization. People are able to display the gospel, and lay down their lives for others (and have it actually mean something), because it is rooted in free will... not because it was forced upon them in the name of "doing the 'right' thing."

2) All authority and calls to submission are based, and built, first on humility and mutual submission

In Titus 2:15 Paul says to Titus, "Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you." The Bible does speak of authority, including rebuking those in need of correction. It also speaks of submission. In Ephesians 5:22, Paul also begins his words to wives with, "submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord..."

What is critical to understand is that Paul's theology was rooted in mutual submission and the character of humility and repentance. Directly before his statement to wives, he tells everyone to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21). The Word says believers are to be humble, and to confess and repent of their sin no matter what their status is... In fact, those in leadership are, in some ways, given an ever higher standard.

This is critical, because no leader can confront sin, or exercise authority / discipline in the church, if they can not first receive it and be under it themselves.

I distinctly remember how it struck me when I heard a man say: "What is the number one hindrance to women being submissive to men in any context? It's men who are boneheads!" As a Christian woman, the scariest thing (in whichever context), is being under the "authority" of a man who is not under "authority" himself.... and that includes (critically), leaders being accountable to members (not just others in authority with them).

Taking advantage of the vulnerability of submission is exactly the space where abuse grows. The bottom line is that the holding of shepherds to the same standard is a safeguard for the sheep... for when and where (not if) a pastor is in disobedience or in the wrong. I mean, we do still believe we are all human and it happens with both leaders and congregants, correct?

3) Abuse, manipulation and wounding of this nature in the church grieves and angers the heart of God

While there is wrath for sin in a general sense, God often reserves his strongest words for those who take advantage of the vulnerabilities of His people, particularly if they use religion to oppress those trying to come to Him:

• "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these [vulnerable] ones to sin." -Luke 17:2

  
  

• "Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: “You have scattered my flock and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil deeds, declares the Lord. Then I will gather [them]... and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing, declares the Lord. -Jeremiah 23:1-4

  
  

• "Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, 'It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you make it a den of robbers. '" -Matthew 21:12-13

Fiercely addressing abuse and oppression (as well as the enablement/ cover up of it) in the church is, in fact, what Jesus did. Christians often use the overturned tables passage to fuel their stone-throwing across the divide at other groups (LGBTQ, pro-choice, etc.), which is wrong in and of itself. But the context of this passage shows that Jesus powerfully spoke and addressed it not outside of, but within the church, in His own faith, where the real upheavals were needed.

No one can use spiritual truths or directives in a way that hinders people coming to God, or walking out their faith, without having to contend with God Himself.

Stating that addressing these same grievances is "graceless, and is causing divisiveness between his followers" to keep people quiet is a misapplication of the Scriptures and is in itself an example of spiritual abuse.

May we never refuse to believe when others finally share harm (it typically takes time, if it is ever openly shared at all). May we never try to silence the cry for safety and greater love of the church.

4) Last (but not least), the church family is not a dysfunctional family

Here's a clip from The Hopecast podcast (Ep. 140-141) I did with Rachael Flick, where I address this topic (and what we have been discussing in this post):

The point is, we are to tell the truth about family dysfunction, abuse, enablement... and we are to encourage people to heal and step out of these broken systems. The family of God is no different! We don't try to hide the harmful parts to get more people to attend... and get caught in the same brokenness.

This is a Big. Freakin'. Deal. to God.

And I want to say, with both love and boldness:

If you refuse to believe someone who is sharing harm

(regardless of how much time has passed,

or how close you are to the person who did the wounding)

or you refuse to hear from them directly,

or your turn a blind eye/ deaf ear -

you are part of the problem, and part of the cycle.

The High Goal of Unity

Scripture admonishes and compels us toward unity as the bride and body of Christ. It is a beautiful, noble and lofty aim.

Unity in the church is also the responsibility of every believer; for pastors and leaders as much as the flock. People are never called to be abused or mistreated without protest in the name of peace.

It starts with humility and repentance that can lead to reconciliation and continued unity:

Unity grows from the soils of safety and true love. Where there is fear and the failure to confront abuse and manipulation, there is disunity, sin, and brokenness.

We reject division and uphold oneness in the church by calling for the spiritual oppression of God's people to end.

With you,

Rachel

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