What to do When Your Husband Dies (with a PDF Checklist)

When a woman loses her husband, she (and everyone else) thinks mostly about grief, sadness, and loneliness. Unfortunately, those things (while very present) aren't the only things she gets to focus on.

There is a list of end of life decisions and to-dos, and widows are in a state of shock and fog trying to navigate it all. Then, comes the roles we must take over in their absence, and the practical help we need with house, car(s), and perhaps children. Finally, there are the deeply emotional items, like what to do with their belongings and who will companion us in the longer journey of grief.

If you are a new(er) widow navigating any of these things, this is for you.

High Volumes of Desperate Online Searches

Can you believe approximately 2,800 new widows are made daily in the United States alone? When a woman enters "club widowhood," they almost always scramble to find the resources they need in a tragic time.

In the midst of their pain, they go to the only places they know to try to find answers- Reddit/other forums, Facebook groups, and of course, Google.

They start searching (these are all real, high volume searches):

• "what to do when your spouse dies"

• "what to do when your husband dies?"

• "what to do after death of a spouse"

Or, just looking for the answer to their need, straight and simple:

• "what to do when a spouse dies checklist pdf"

Whether you are in total numbing shock, a fog of grief, or the wailing throes of being bereft, you suddenly must manage a major list of to-dos.... without even knowing what should be on the list.

It can be a nightmare. And it's why we either stumble along with even higher grief and stress, or we go desperately searching for the resources, grieving tips, financial advice, and other support in our widowhood.

Unfortunately, I "Get it," Sister

When my husband died at 30 yrs old, I was totally lost in so many ways. Married when we were both 19, we had basically grown up together. There were specific things we each took responsibility for, and regrettably, I didn't know much about many of the financial, maintenance and other tasks that I had just become solely responsible for.

As I tried to figure it out, I missed cues that his identity was stolen, landing me 12+ hours over the next few months in the police station and filling out papers and online forms to protect myself and my children from the mounting charges in his name.

I also did not realize there was an order to follow in going about switching financial things over, and I made the mistake of reporting his death to one of our main credit cards before I had taken certain steps... and the card was immediately shut down. I had no access to it or the history (even with my name on it as a surviving spouse).

This meant auto pay on critical bills stopped, and I didn't even know what they were!

All of our passwords were conveniently organized in a file that was safely password protected. And by safe, I mean real safe. It was so safe, even I didn't know what it was (or had forgotten). In any case, I never figured it out, and never gained access to the much needed information.

I remember sobbing in my late husband's home office on the floor, surrounded with envelopes that I didn't even understand (except the parts where things were threatened to be shut off).

This is the reason I didn't want other widows to struggle as I did. Let's set you up to navigate your journey differently.

The Checklist for the New(er) Widows

When I started Hope Speaker to help those impacted by widowhood, I knew one of the first resources I needed to create was a checklist for after your husband has died.

When your husband passes away, you don't need more adding to your pain, distress, and grief.

So from my own personal experience, research, and from the input of financial advisors, I created what I feel is the BEST FREE resource I could:

The Newly Widowed Checklist

It is a simple pdf download that is a streamlined guide through:

• Preventing/Dealing with Identity Theft

• Obtaining Needed Documents

• Considering the Order of Tasks to Prevent Problems

• Taking Over Management of Responsibilities

As well as the important heart-level areas of:

• Sorting Through their Belongings

• Getting Basic/Essential Support from Others

• Being Gentle with Yourself in it All

It is available for free, here:

The Newly Widowed Checklist

And whomever obtains it will also be added to the Hope Speaker newsletter for other free resources and inspiration in their journey toward HOPE.

If you have lost your husband, I am so incredibly sorry to welcome you to these trenches, but I want you to know that you are not, and will never be, alone.

If you know someone who has lost their spouse, please share the above link to support them in navigating these waters. It is the checklist they need, and will likely be searching for.

Hope Speaker is here in the pain:

"...so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

-2 Corinthians 1:4

With you,

Rachel

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