What to do When Your Spouse Dies (with a PDF Checklist)

Very High Volumes of Desperate Searches

It may come as a surprise (or perhaps not at all if you are one), but when a new widow or widower is in the throes of losing their spouse, they almost always scramble to find the resources they need.

In the midst of their pain, they go to the only places they know to try to find answers- Reddit/other forums, Facebook groups, and of course, Google.

In the midst of their loss, they start searching:

• "what to do when your spouse dies"

• "what to do when your husband dies?"

• "what to do after death of a spouse"

Or, just looking for the answer to their need, straight and simple:

• "what to do when a spouse dies checklist pdf"

Whether you are in total numbing shock, a fog of grief, or the wailing throes of being bereft, you suddenly must manage a major list of to-dos.... without even knowing what should be on the list.

It can be a nightmare. And it's why we either stumble along with even higher grief and stress, or we go desperately searching for the resources, grieving tips, financial advice, and other support in our widowhood.

Unfortunately, I get it, my friend.

When my husband died at 30 yrs old, I was at a loss in so many ways. Married when we were both 19, we had basically grown up together. There were specific things we each took responsibility for, and regrettably, I didn't know much about many of the financial, maintenance and other tasks that I had just become solely responsible for.

As I tried to figure it out, I missed cues that his identity was stolen, landing me 12+ hours over the next few months in the police station and filling out papers and online forms to protect myself and my children from the mounting charges in his name.

I also did not realize there was an order to follow in going about switching things over, and I made the mistake of reporting his death to one of our main credit cards at the wrong moment... which promptly got shut down. I had no access (even with my name on it as a surviving spouse).

This meant auto pay on critical bills stopped, and I didn't even know what they were!

All of our passwords were conveniently organized in a file that was safely password protected. And by safe, I mean real safe. It was so safe, even I didn't know what it was (or had forgotten). In any case, I never figured it out, and never gained access to the much needed information.

I remember sitting in my late husband's home office on the floor, surrounded with envelopes that I didn't even understand (except the parts where things were threatened to be shut off). I wailed and sobbed on the floor for hours... many hours, over the months following.

To this day, when there is a technical/password/financial bump or scare, I have to work through it carefully to handle my trauma response.

Let's set you up to navigate your journey differently.

The Checklist for the Newly Widowed

When I started Hope Speaker to help those impacted by widowhood, suicide and/or spiritual abuse, I knew one of the first resources I needed to create was for those who has just lost their spouse.

When your person dies, the last thing you need is something else causing you more pain, distress, and grief.

So from my own personal experience, research, and from the input of financial advisors, I created what I feel is the BEST FREE resource I could:

The Newly Widowed Checklist

It is a simple pdf download that is a streamlined guide for someone who just lost their spouse through:

• Preventing/Dealing with Identity Theft

• Obtaining Needed Documents

• Considering the Order of Tasks to Prevent Problems

• Taking Over Management

As well as the important heart-level areas of:

• Sorting Through their Belongings

• Getting Basic/Essential Support from Others

• Being Gentle with Yourself

It is available for free, here:

The Newly Widowed Checklist

And whomever obtains it will also be added to the community for other free resources and inspiration in their journey toward HOPE.

If you have lost your spouse, I am so incredibly sorry to welcome you to these trenches, but I want you to know that you are not, and will never be, alone.

If you know someone who has lost their spouse, please share the above link to support them in navigating these waters. It is the checklist they need, and will likely be searching for.

Hope Speaker is here in the pain:

"...so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

-2 Corinthians 1:4

With you,

Rachel

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