Light in the Dark: How to Find Joy, Peace, & Hope in Pain

I am in gratitude to Dr. Betsy Guerra for her wisdom and insights included into this week's blog.❤️‍🔥

The Search for Happiness...

We all have hunger in our souls... for joy, peace, and hope. And, when we are suffering, for relief of pain.

In every season of life, we search for the experiential answers: “When will I find happiness that lasts?” “When will I have peace and rest?” “When will my life just be... good (or good again)?”

We work, we wait, we strive—believing that when we finally achieve that goal, find/fix that relationship, or escape this season of suffering, we’ll have what we’re longing for.

While we may have seasons where we can take hold of these things, they don't last forever.

Perhaps we are hit with tragedy. Our person dies. Suicide becomes a real struggle. We are spiritually (or otherwise) abused. Our dreams shatter. Life doesn’t unfold how we thought it would.

And then, hope begins to feel impossible, peace seems out of reach, and joy feels like a cruel joke. The struggles continue, and we need relief... again.

Because the problem is, we are all on the search to find fulfillment from circumstances outside of us... and that is why it is an endless search.

When we believe that happiness, security, etc. can only come from something or someone outside of us, we will live in constant lack. We have created our own ball and chain of dependence on a source that will always fail us or that we will end up losing.

And here's an important side note for my fellow grievers and sufferers: this is no minimization or shaming of pain! Of course your wounds and losses are devastating- and should be! There is heartache in the human experience.

But… What if we could have hope, joy, peace and relief in the life we're living—right now? It is still what our (broken) hearts long for, isn't it?

Drawing From the Source: Abundance

If we are dependent on HAVING [fill in the blank] before we can BE [peaceful, joyful, filled with hope, in less pain], then we are setting ourselves up for endless lack.

The irony is that it’s the other way around: We must BE before we will ever truly HAVE.

And the astounding truth? You already are! Because in Christ, we have full oneness with God Himself, and access to His abundance in the Holy Spirit.

The hope, joy, and peace you’re searching for are not found in solving any of the circumstantial problems (of which there are many). We don’t need more achievements, possessions, or even people to be whole. They’re found in connection—your connection to God, the true source of all you need.

Our only true problem? We’ve lost our way home.

Disconnection from the source appears in our life as all of the other "problems" we are trying to solve. What we need is to return to the One who makes us whole.

Our only true solution is simply to come home- to return to Him, our abundance.

From this place of being—of reconnecting with God—we can actually enjoy life’s blessings without being dependent on them for meaning and happiness. It is also a place from where we can find a real way forward into deeper healing and growth from our grief and loss.

So how do we do that? How do we shift from chasing peace to living in it? Let’s talk about some practical steps.

Living (and Healing) from Abundance

1. Come Back Home to God

Your truest home is oneness with God. And the good news? You are never far from Him. So "coming back" simply involves the turning of our heart (not a list of things to do).

In Christ, you are already in perfect standing with God. There is no striving, no groveling, no proving yourself worthy of His love. He is always waiting with open arms.

Take a moment to pause. Is anything in the way of going even deeper and nearer? Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal anything you need to release—pain, unforgiveness, false beliefs, or wounds that need healing from Him.

And please know: there is no shame here (shame is not from God). This is not about “clawing your way back” to God. It’s about surrender—laying your burdens down and resting in His presence. You are warmly welcomed into this starting place of healing.

2. Believe That You Already Have Everything You Need

Your beliefs are the beginning to everything in your lived experience.

Still, believing you have all you need is so hard, especially when life is the most challenging. Pain and suffering make us feel like we are victims—like we need the circumstances to change before we can be okay. Plus, we get defensive about our pain, as though someone is trying to minimize it.

Your pain and your needs are valid. But here’s the challenge: Resist the urge to believe things have to “look a certain way” before you can be at peace (I’ll be honest—this is something I have to remind myself of, ongoing).

This doesn't mean your desires are wrong, or that God is against your dreams. But when you live as though your peace depends on them, you’ll always feel empty.

What if you could experience peace and joy right now, regardless of circumstances?

That’s the freedom found in Christ. Let go of the ball and chain. Every human, in various challenges on this planet, is able to have abundant life in the Lord as they navigate the struggles of life.

3. Rebuke the Lies Keeping You Stuck

This has been one of the biggest battles in my personal journey—learning to stand in my authority in Christ and reject the lies that try to pull me back into despair.

As an Enneagram 4 (translation: deep feeler, very familiar with grief), I know what it’s like to sit in pain. And while self-awareness and authenticity are good, creating an identity out of pain is dangerous.

For years, I let my suffering define me. It fed my despair, intensified my struggles, and nearly drowned me in hopelessness.

But then I learned something life-changing: agreeing with the thoughts that weren't actually true was partnering with the enemy... and I can walk through my grief with Him, or I can repeatedly take God's hand, instead.

When old, familiar lies creep in—thoughts of hopelessness, self-pity, or despair—rebuke them. Don’t coddle, entertain, or empathize with them. Don’t let them take root.

And if you need permission to get aggressive here, let me say this: The enemy is the one place you can use all your bad words. Seriously. Tell him to get out.

4. Start Living Like the Person You Already Are - Abundant

You already have hope, peace, and joy in Christ. You have Holy Spirit power for endurance and perseverance in suffering. You have authority to rebuke the enemy and power to rebuild a beautiful life. Can you fathom that reality?

Let your life reflect it; rather than waiting to have the right circumstances before you become the person God created you to be.

Let your identity—not your circumstances—determine your choices, words, and outlook.

In my darkest season of widowhood, the Lord gave me the theme that has carried me for years: Acceptance-With-Joy. At first my response was, "Really?! Are you kidding me? Right HERE?!" But it became a part of my new life and new identity, despite all I've been through.

Start speaking life over yourself, friend. Start making decisions from a place of abundance, not lack. Start stepping into the fullness of who God says you are.

When you do this, you’ll realize something incredible: The joy, peace, and hope you were searching for were inside you all along... Come back home, to Oneness with God that is always available to you.

Final Thoughts: Your Hope Starts Here

You don’t have to wait for life to get “better” before you can live fully.

You don’t have to chase joy, peace, or hope.

You already have them in Christ.

Now, it’s time to step into that reality—right here, right now.

It IS possible, and I have walked through it- from suicide attempts to an abundant (not perfect) life.

If this resonates with you and you’re looking for deeper support, and transformation, I’d love to walk alongside you! Become a Founding Member of The HOPE Stronghold Membership, and get connected to community and a path to success.

You can get on the list by subscribing to the blog (instructions below), and I will update you when The HOPE Stronghold Membership opens! Stay tuned—hope is closer than you think.

I also have openings for 1:1 Coaching to help you navigate healing and rebuilding your life, if you are ready to get out of the suffocating grasp of grief, despair and loneliness.

Reach out here:

Connect@hopespeaker.com

With you,

Rachel

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