Resurrection Is Coming: Why Your Life Isn’t Over After Loss

When we are in the wake of tragedy, and all we see is loss, it’s hard to believe anything good could ever come for us again.

I know the weight of hopelessness—to the point of attempting suicide after my husband died by the same. I understand what it feels like to have your life stolen from you in a way that seems unrecoverable.

And while true grief- acknowledging our very valid pain and losses- is a vital step in our grief journey, it's not the final destination.

Healthy grief actually does have a forward movement, where you incorporate loss into your life but you don't stop living it.

When grief becomes a whirlpool of pain we circle that keeps leading to rock bottom, we're in a bad cycle. We often get stuck repeatedly looking back and only wanting/trying to live the old life we had.

But here’s the truth that isn't named enough (because if we're honest, we grievers don't want to hear it):

You won’t recover the same life. How could you, when he will never again be in it?

However, that doesn’t mean your life is over.

If we still want hope, joy, and a life we can love again, we must be willing to shift our gaze and look ahead to the possibilities of our future.

Sister, there is a ground underneath you that does not shake. It is the promise of resurrection—not of what was, but of a new thing the Lord will do in, through, and for you.

Doing CPR on a Life That No Longer Exists

After loss—especially the traumatic, gutting kind that comes with widowhood or suicide loss—so many of us get stuck in grief. It impacts who we become, and the entire rest of our lives.

We’re not trying to rebuild; we’re often busy performing CPR on our former life.

Forgive the metaphor if it is triggering to you, but I find it not only fitting in widowhood, but relatable as a former RN (including ER and ICU Nursing).

CPR is performed for resuscitation- trying to revive someone that is unconscious or dead.

As widows, we know what it's like to walk in the valley of the shadow of death. Our losses aren't imagined; we feel the realities every day.

We grieve our person, the future we planned... The version of life that held our past joy, security, and identity.

And so, naturally, we fight to bring that same version back. Both our subconscious and conscious mind wrestle, doing CPR.

• "What if.....? Would he still be here? If only...."

• The memories of life with our person we sit with at the bottom of the whirlpool

• Being in denial, pain, and closed off to future hope

• Being stuck in anger and defense of our grief

But the CPR on our old life doesn't work; unfortunately it can never come back.

The problem is when we try to permanently survive in the ruins instead of rising from them. We believe the lie that we’re stuck here forever. That this is all that’s left. That resurrection isn’t possible.

But God doesn't ask you to live in the ashes. He invites you to trade them for beauty...

God Is Doing a New Thing

Here’s what I want you to know, sister:

In Christ, death is not the end- resurrection follows. I want you to know that it is coming, for you. It may not look like the life you had before, but it will be life. It will be good.

There is a new chapter being written.

As painful as it may be to hear: you were never meant to recover what was—you are meant to receive what’s ahead.

This isn’t about minimizing your pain or pretending your loss doesn’t matter. It’s about holding the truth that while life as you knew it may be over, your story is not, because it is still being written! HOPE is available to you.

Trust/fall back on the coming resurrection of your hope, joy, & future dreams. Death is not the end. It precedes a resurrection that is coming—with certainty.

Even if you can’t see it or feel it yet. Even if it feels impossible.

We can’t always trust what our dark perceptions are telling us. But we can trust the God who speaks light into darkness.

How to Step Into Resurrection Living

If you're open to stopping CPR on your old life, and instead taking the loss and growth with you into your new life, here are a few places to start:

1) Name the Deaths You’re Still Grieving

• Not just your husband, but the dreams, the identity, the future you pictured. Say them out loud. Write them down. Acknowledge what has been lost.

• We can't skip the early steps of grief. Validating and empathizing with the pain is a place we begin. But it's not the only step...

2) Ask: What If God Wants to Rebuild Something Beautiful?

• What if your future isn’t a consolation prize (given to last place)—but a new, divinely-authored chapter that could hold as much love, purpose, and joy as the first?

• What might some of your future hopes and dreams be?

• A large part of rebuilding starts HERE: Your openness and willingness to receive the future possibilities. If you close off or reject them, you can be certain you will not experience them.

3) Speak Resurrection Truth Over Yourself

When hopelessness hits, declare what's real. Here are some powerful Biblical truths for widows:

• "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." -Isaiah 43:19

• "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." -Psalm 27:13

• "So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten... And it shall come to pass afterward that... I will pour out My Spirit in those days." -Joel 2:25, 28-29

• "For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality." -1 Cor. 15:52-53

• "But we do not want you to be uninformed about those who [have passed away], that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." -1 Thess. 4:13

4) Take a Step

What would taking a step toward embracing hope look like for you?

Maybe it means allowing yourself to get excited about future desires.

Maybe it means taking a first step toward a new dream.

Maybe that means investing in yourself through coaching with me or another widow coach.

Maybe it just means getting super honest in prayer.

But take one small step forward.

Time to Shift

The repeated moments I stopped trying to live in my old life and finally allowed myself to open to what might still be ahead, changed everything.

It was not in denial. Not in forgetting. But in faith.

And something shifted.

Sure, it was scary! And it didn’t make the pain disappear. But it made space for the possibility of joy, peace, and HOPE.

Friend, there is more ahead for you.

It will not always be the way it is right now.

He is faithful to you.

And your story isn’t over yet.

With you,

Rachel

Our Family HOPE Shop

*In case you didn't know* One of my girls and I hand-design tangible reminders of hope... because we needed to see them in every one of our darkest days after losing Andre.

The HOPE Shop exists to help other people in their dark days.

Whether for you or as a gift, our items made with love (tote bags, mugs, shirts, hats, stickers and more) are a reminder of truth and HOPE.

Plus, every purchase supports the work we do for widows and suicide prevention. It doesn't get better than that!

Start shopping and Join the Movement of HOPE!

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