Why Empowerment is the Key to Lasting Change & the Bridge to HOPE

Rachel Powell
Jan 2
8 min read

“I have been doing this for so long, but I can't do it anymore,” I said, crying. "I feel like a dog chained to a pole, taking a beating over and over. I can't get out, and I feel like I am going to bite."

I was sitting with the two most powerful men in my life at that time- my husband and my pastor. I had felt unheard for years, and this day, I was desperate for them to understand how deeply I was struggling in the pain. I decided to reveal where I actually was.

"I can't keep doing this." I repeated. "The acting out over and over, and now it's getting worse... and I'm just supposed to go on with the day, and the next day, like it never happened. It's been 10 years...

I can't keep doing life where every time I hear the train go by, I wish I was under it."

I was still crying, but I stopped speaking after saying it out loud... I felt so much shame for struggling with suicidal thoughts.

Unfortunately, the answer that I longed for - one that allowed me to have limits and boundaries - did not come.

In fact, nothing changed. Later I would hear again that I was the unstable and reactionary one, with "extreme emotions."

Empowerment wasn’t a word in my vocabulary then - but it was the lifeline I didn’t know I needed.

I found it a while later when I joined two separate support groups and began weekly counseling. I was desperate for hope, for personal growth, and for lasting change. With support, I set and held a significant boundary as the addiction escalated (even reaching illegal behaviors); we separated for about a week's time.

I needed the time: so I didn't react ("bite" as I felt I was going to snap), and to pray, seek counsel, and determine what I needed to go forward in a different direction... one I could live in. One we could rebuild our marriage in.

I soon found out that the separation was not only considered unjustified and a lack of submission, but actually a "sin" that I needed to repent for and promise to never consider again. My declining husband demanded it, and the pastor ultimately agreed with him that I was in the wrong and didn't have grounds.

In the face of being called a feminist and being told repeatedly to submit to increasing abuse, what I leaned on and kept saying (even when physically cornered) was, "The Holy Spirit is not convicting me of sin. I can't say it was wrong. I can't say I won't have boundaries."

Materials from my groups were ripped up, and asking to read a book from Dr. Cloud on boundaries together sparked rage. I went to Barnes and Noble to read more about boundaries, abuse, and what to do... in secret.

My attempt to end the grasp of hopelessness, suicide, and addiction over myself became the vortex around which everything centered, and continued to spiral - to the loss of my husband's life and my church community.

Widowhood came with another level of feeling powerless and hopeless... and in the midst of the losses, grief and guilt, I found myself more suicidal than ever before.

Rock Bottom is Sacred Ground

Here's the beauty of finding yourself at the ground zero wreckage - the rebuilding of something resilient, and something stronger. As you say “yes” to healing, you step into deeper faith as an act of hope... because the Lord graciously empowers all of His children.

Empowerment is not just about freedom of action/autonomy, but, as I will argue, critical to having HOPE — including the belief that change is possible and worth pursuing.

Through Hope Speaker, I focus on empowering women impacted by widowhood, spiritual abuse, or suicide, to take hold of HOPE and confidently lead their future into it.

Why is this so important?

Why are hope and empowerment crucially linked; not just to one another, but to our relationship with God as well as very tangible outcomes in our lives? Why are they vital in the fight against suicide, the healing of spiritual abuse, and healing and growth in widowhood?

Let's explore a little.

Defining Empowerment: The Catalyst for Change & Gift of God

Here are just a couple definitions of empowerment:

The authority or power for to someone to do something.
The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in decision making regarding one's own life.

I would like to ask: are we truly able to grow without autonomy? If we are merely "changed" by another - their will, their actions, by their decisions or in their way - are we really transformed?

Even though God is perfectly sovereign, all-knowing, all-powerful, and in control... we see Him give every person the gift of free will and the allowance of choice.

Isn't that the path to authentic love and transformation? Our ability to choose Him, or not to? Therefore, aren't we to reflect this to one another in our allowance of the freedoms which God has given?

In fact, the agency and choices God gives us are what make us humans created in His image (He gave this no other creature). We will even stand before Him, accountable to the responsibility of managing ourselves and our own lives well.

How then, can we take this from one another in any way? It is God Himself who gives it. There is no person, no gender, no role... in or by which God has designed us to disempower another human being.

The problem with this definition of empowerment-

The act or action of empowering someone or something : the granting of the power, right, or authority...

- is that in our brokenness, we do not grant power or authority to others (but disempower them instead).

It is unbiblical, and wrong, to deny/disempower/coerce anyone away from the autonomy that God Himself gives as a right and responsibility.

Just this last week I read in 1 Corinthians 12 (ESV):

"Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit;

and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord;

and there are varieties of activities, but it is

the same God who empowers them all in everyone." -v. 4-6

"All these [gifts] are empowered by one and the same Spirit,

who apportions to each one individually as he wills." -v. 11

What a picture of the Lord giving us roles, purpose, and gifts... along with the authority by His Spirit to carry them out! It is true for all of us in the Church.

Given this, I would like to offer a definition for Christian empowerment:

An active, faith-driven partnership with God that embraces the autonomy and responsibility He gives every human, to walk in His purposes and power.

Why Empowerment Creates Deep, Sustainable Change

Often in life there are sufferings, circumstances, and seasons of waiting where we can only trust the Lord. Thankfully, He is our hope; a sure and steadfast anchor for the soul (Heb. 6:19).

What we are talking about in this blog is where we do/should have choice and power as a change agent in our own lives, which is plentiful for us... more than we realize. Additionally, walking in this empowerment is also from confidence rooted in His promises.

Proof

We have discovered that equipping people with the power and freedom of self-determination is superior in ensuring success, dignity, and sustainable change in a wide variety of areas:

Education, business training and financial literacy programs improve impoverished communities in becoming self-sufficient over the ongoing need for outside direction and support.
Empowerment initiatives for women in developing nations (for example: microfinance programs in Bangladesh) reduce poverty and foster generational change.
Science shows through neuroplasticity that empowerment and hope help rewire the brain for resilience and growth after trauma.

These are just a few drops in the bucket. The evidence is clear- supporting systems that empower people rather than focusing on maintaining control offers better outcomes and more growth.

While authority and leadership are both necessary and are gifts to provide structure and move toward common goals, we should be extremely wary of a mindset or practice which tries to supersede an individual's agency over themselves.

Even within the parameters of Christianity, encouraging God's people to walk in the empowerment He grants through the Holy Spirit keeps faith from being dependent, fragile, and stagnant. The entire Bible is full of God calling and empowering His people by the His Spirit to subdue the earth and fulfill the great commission.

Often, our white-knuckle, fearful attempts to control exactly what that should look like and stay in charge end up hobbling the people who could be contributing to the body and to the world.

In every area, loving empowerment is freeing people to live more sustainable, purposeful lives. And it is vital to healing, resilience, trauma / spiritual abuse recovery, and sustainable change through relational faith.

The Synergy of Empowerment and HOPE

Hope and empowerment are not merely linked; together they are exponentially more impactful.

➡️Empowering people to act and grow promotes hope:

Think of Mordecai's encouragement of Esther to boldly and unlawfully approach the King, despite the expectations and limits on her role as a female in that day. His words to her were these:

"...who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” -Esther 4:14
He imparted courage, and even appealed to the power and authority God gave her to move into action and into hope- for her and all her people.

➡️And, hope can in turn sustain empowerment:

Paul’s endurance came from hope in God’s promise of redemption:

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." -Rom. 8:18

Empowerment and hope can together create an upward spiral into initiating and persevering on life's journey.

...And their impact on Suicide

The impact of empowerment on HOPE is absolutely crucial. It is literally a matter of life and death, because:

Hopelessness kills people. Every day.

Not only do I know this intimately from experience. It is well-known from research. Here are just a couple of experts on the subject:

Dr. Amen, who has studied suicidal brains for 45+ years, states:

"What we learn is people go toward suicidal thoughts when they become hopeless, when they feel like they have no sense of agency..."

Dr. Adam David, a Certified Clinical Psychologist and Trauma Expert shared this:

"You want to stifle somebody's hope? Isolate them. You want to bolster someone's hope? Put them in a tribe with people that are there to support them, and see them, and care for them, and tell them, 'You measure up and you have something to offer.' "

Empowerment gives HOPE and saves lives.

Suicide can feel like your only option when you are trapped in excruciating pain. Feeling stuck, in some cases, is the experience of being disempowered; being told and/or believing you have no other choices and no way out.

Helping people to learn how God empowers them,

how to listen to their bodies (it's cues and wisdom),

to know and honor their needs and limits,

to have a voice in self-determination of their lives,

to set boundaries to keep themself in a safe and God-honoring place...

This is suicide prevention! This is empowering people with hope.

Practical Empowerment Strategies

The good news is that we can help to empower others with hope.

The even better news is that when others don't do this for us, we can embrace the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, and embolden ourselves to live in His authority!

Here are some additional, tangible takeaways (with emphasis on empowerment strategies for women, faith-based healing ideas, and trauma recovery tips):

Identify systemic challenges that hinder you, such as generational trauma, false cultural stigmas, and spiritual abuse.
Embrace personal agency with God’s help.
Set healthy boundaries in relationships (all of them).
Seek trauma-informed counseling or spiritual mentorship.
Seek collective healing within a safe, supportive body of Christ and other communities.
Build resilience through adaptive strategies.
Become a mentor or advocate for others.